Should You and Your Kids Engage in “Paranorman” Activity?
Olive: Ok, I saw the scariest movie ever, The Woman in Black.
Bruce: Or, as I like to call it, When Harry Met Scary...
Olive: And you were too scared to see it! I was not scared of seeing Paranorman. I just didn’t feel like going. I had other things to do, and I didn’t think it would be good.
Bruce: Well, Jed and I thought it was awesome—really funny and just a little bit scary. So would you say… there’s a ghost of a chance you’d see Paranorman?
Olive: Oh, nooooo!
Bruce: Yes, I got her!
Jed: (calling down from his bedroom upstairs) That was a really bad pun.
Bruce: Was that pun scarier than Paranorman?
Jed: It’s scary how close they are.
Bruce; Here’s why I think you would love it, Olive. The backstory of the movie is about a Salem-like witch trial, and you just finished a book about that for your summer reading assignment. This boy, Paranorman, sees dead people, and he’s the only one in this town who can talk to this dead girl who was wrongly convicted of being a witch in Puritan times. She’s an 11-year-old whose wrath is so horrifying she lights up the sky and terrifies people. Does that remind you of anyone?
Bruce: It’s like you have a twin!
Bruce: I’m just kidding. You never really get mad, do you?
Olive: Kind of. When Jed steals my candy.
Bruce: Well, Paranorman has a great voice cast. Paranorman’s ghost grandma is played by Elaine Stritch, who’s Jack Donaghy’s mother on 30 Rock.
Olive: Yay! She’s awesome.
Bruce: And Paranorman’s uncle is voiced by John Goodman, who plays the dean of the air-conditioning school on another of your favorite shows, Community.
Olive: That’s awesome–him? No, he’s the vice-dean, actually.
Bruce: He’s also the voice of Sully in Monsters, Inc.
Olive: Cool! I love Sully.
Bruce: My only complaint is there’s this creepy ’60s rock song they play in the trailer, “Season of the Witch” by Donovan, and it’s not in the movie.
Olive: It isn’t? Oh, I like that song!
Bruce: That was my only beef. Other than that, Jed and I were… SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER! I say SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER, Jed!
Jed: I’m not going to acknowledge you.
Bruce: Another thing about Paranorman that’s really funny is the characters are grotesque-looking, and a lot of them have really big butts. It’s like this movie was directed by Sir Mix-a-Lot.
Olive: That’s not funny. Because Sir Mix-a-Lot doesn’t have a really big butt. He just has a song about it.
Jed: That’s just his ideal. It’s his utopia.
Bruce: He’s got a pretty big butt—wouldn’t you say, Jed?
Jed: I’m not the kind of person who researches these things.
Bruce: Why do you think the Queen knighted him?
Olive: Who’s the Queen?
Bruce: Queen Latifah!
Olive: Why was he knighted?
Jed: Because he’s mastered his sword.
Bruce: How about this—the jokes in Paranorman are much funnier than any of the jokes I’ve made in this blog. Will you see it?
Bruce: Yay! Will you go see it with me and hold my hand when it gets scary? Jed had to hold my hand.
Olive: Awwww, Jed!
Jed: I just grabbed his arm. I ripped his arm off and took it for myself.
Bruce; It was more like a man-hug.
Olive: Jeddy was scared!
Jed: I took a little intermission and went and played some Time Crisis so I could blow off some steam.
Bruce: Because you were so scared?
Jed: Yes, I just needed to shoot something.
Bruce: It was pretty scary. Some people walked out.
Jed: There were babies crying in the back row!
Olive: You know about the Monster House thing, right? I went to see it with Mama, and I was so scared. Once the house stood up, I shot out of there, no question, I didn’t say anything, I just ran out of that theater. I was just like, “Goodbye!”
Bruce: So do you think there’s any chance that could happen again with Paranorman?
Bruce: Not a ghost of a chance?
Olive: Oh my gosh!
Jed: I have a haunting feeling I’ve heard that pun before, Pop.
Has Paranorman scared up any business from your family? Scream a comment!